I became a musician

22 years…stuck…thinking…debating with myself whether or not to just surrender to this persistent inner voice begging me to sing.

“Sorelle! Stop! Please”

I gave myself every reason under the sun as to why it wouldn’t work.

But why did the voice stay? I tried to reason with it, why wouldn’t it hear me?

And as if a desperate child, it tugged and tugged at my trousers, slowly fading of life and soul, but unwilling to walk away.

And when my world ceased in 2020, lifeless and numb, I didn’t know where to turn. No matter what familiar activities or tasks I undertook, my body resisted. Everything felt like pushing a boulder up a hill.

“Life has never felt so heavy! What is happening to me?”.

I couldn’t recognize myself.

And music…knock, knock, knock.

“Do you want to play now?”

Sure. Why not. And so I faced my shadows, doubts and fears every time I stepped into that studio, petrified I was getting closer to admitting that this artistry was ACTUALLY what I wanted.

I destroyed my reputation and my career in my mind and mocked myself before even writing the first lyric, before anyone else could tear me down.

But the most beautiful thing began occurring simultaneously.

With every self-battle I faced, I felt the soul of the lifeless child replenishing. Breathing just a little bit deeper, smiling just a little bit sweeter.

I don’t know why I was asked to pursue this irrational path, but I don’t think I’ll ever find the answer within logic.

And today, after 6 months of sitting on a completed album, I unleashed Ring Road into the world.

And at this moment, I feel a 22 year exhale. I feel like I am exactly where I was always meant to be. I feel relief and lightness like I haven’t really felt before.

Now I’m no fool, I know this feeling will fade, replaced with more doubts and excuses at bay. But in this moment, I relish in this taste of ecstatic fever, grateful to the battles I’ve faced, which have allowed me to make today a day to remember.

#ringroad